dream movies, 2
I guess I should watch what I wish for. So, I finally get my ex-rated dream and it turns itself inside out.
Roll the film...
The scene is some mild house party at the house of some unnamed and faceless friend. In typical fashion I over indulge and am out on the couch before the crowd leaves. At some point in the night I wake up and there is a girl lying there with me. How did this happen I thought? I do not remember this, and in fact I do not remember this girl from the party. Oh, but then she rolls over and I can’t mistake her face, I know her alright, Angela was her name.
I knew her in real life, she lived down the road from me when I was in elementary school. She was a year older than me, she was pretty, she had blonde hair and blue eyes. Now, I know what you’re thinking but the thing is I never did and still don’t have much of an attraction for blondes. However, the thing about her when I was a kid was that there were no other blondes around, I mean there were probably only fourty girls in the whole school and every one of them brunettes. So she looked different and that can go a long way when you’re kid.... But it wasn’t until after my first brand new bicycle that she first impressed herself on me. You see, when I brought that bicycle home from Canadian Tire every child on the street wanted to test it out.... By the way, that was the first and probably the last time I ever had any degree of popularity... So, in the midst of the glow of my new found adulation, Angela comes up to me and says:
"I’ll be your girlfriend if you let me ride your bike."
I declined the offer, though more from embarassment than lack of desire. But it was at about that point that I was forcefully made aware of the power that girls have over guys and that hung around me for awhile before I was able to get the thought to see through it.
.... Angela turned out to be a strange girl, I had heard that she had gotten pregnant right out of high school and managed to hide the whole affair from her family. And, then, one day she got up called a taxi to the hospital and then came home with a baby girl. Surprise Mom!
So, back to the dream, there I am about to make it with oddball Angela... Oh, brother, but hey I get revved up anyway, and so we just get started and then she screams... "Assault"
Oh brother, oh brother, oh brother this isn’t going to be good... I thought...
And, sure enough it was not good. Someone comes running in from some room in a blitzed frenzy, and then more people come running, all lunging at me... while they are all wailing on me she calls the police...
The next thing I know I’m on my way to jail. And, everyone I know is thoroughly disgusted with me, I see my friends through the window shaking their heads. Excepting my mother, surprise, surprise, somehow she made it to the jail, and I can her lobbying for me at the end of the long corridor, praising me, 'such a good boy, they’re all out to get him, It’s a setup she was saying'... This of course does nothing to help me and in fact only serves to further embarrass me.
The next morning the police are pulling me through the corridor and into the courthouse, I’ve no lawyer, evidently no one would deign to defend me. But the show must go on, so I start into my defense...
But before I can get really going it’s suddenly somehow clear to me that it is not assault that I’m on trial for rather it is for the desire to have sex itself. So the whole show turns into this scopes monkey trial with me defending sex... Which is very strange as in real time I more often than not take the opposite point of view... But, like I said, the show must go on, and I don’t hold back, I’m pleading my case, I’m jumping up on the table, pointing at the jury dancing for the judge, and screaming all the cliches, "it’s only natural," "Look, what do all of you desire to do in the dark night, and some of you every other second," I yell at the gallery... "You can’t tell me I’m wrong, you just can’t," I’m still screaming... Oooh’s and Ahh’s follow, some laughs and I get some applause. It is at this point that the mood of the whole room starts to turn in my favour. And, then, Angela, losing her popularity, screams from the witness stand, "it was just sex, and sex anyway, it really wasn’t that bad, I suppose."
I was surprised she switched stripes so easy, but hey it got me outta there, and in seconds flat.
So, I guess I was vindicated, eh. I guess, but I don't find it a lot of fun spending my time trying to escape from something I shouldn't have to know anyway.
Roll the film...
The scene is some mild house party at the house of some unnamed and faceless friend. In typical fashion I over indulge and am out on the couch before the crowd leaves. At some point in the night I wake up and there is a girl lying there with me. How did this happen I thought? I do not remember this, and in fact I do not remember this girl from the party. Oh, but then she rolls over and I can’t mistake her face, I know her alright, Angela was her name.
I knew her in real life, she lived down the road from me when I was in elementary school. She was a year older than me, she was pretty, she had blonde hair and blue eyes. Now, I know what you’re thinking but the thing is I never did and still don’t have much of an attraction for blondes. However, the thing about her when I was a kid was that there were no other blondes around, I mean there were probably only fourty girls in the whole school and every one of them brunettes. So she looked different and that can go a long way when you’re kid.... But it wasn’t until after my first brand new bicycle that she first impressed herself on me. You see, when I brought that bicycle home from Canadian Tire every child on the street wanted to test it out.... By the way, that was the first and probably the last time I ever had any degree of popularity... So, in the midst of the glow of my new found adulation, Angela comes up to me and says:
"I’ll be your girlfriend if you let me ride your bike."
I declined the offer, though more from embarassment than lack of desire. But it was at about that point that I was forcefully made aware of the power that girls have over guys and that hung around me for awhile before I was able to get the thought to see through it.
.... Angela turned out to be a strange girl, I had heard that she had gotten pregnant right out of high school and managed to hide the whole affair from her family. And, then, one day she got up called a taxi to the hospital and then came home with a baby girl. Surprise Mom!
So, back to the dream, there I am about to make it with oddball Angela... Oh, brother, but hey I get revved up anyway, and so we just get started and then she screams... "Assault"
Oh brother, oh brother, oh brother this isn’t going to be good... I thought...
And, sure enough it was not good. Someone comes running in from some room in a blitzed frenzy, and then more people come running, all lunging at me... while they are all wailing on me she calls the police...
The next thing I know I’m on my way to jail. And, everyone I know is thoroughly disgusted with me, I see my friends through the window shaking their heads. Excepting my mother, surprise, surprise, somehow she made it to the jail, and I can her lobbying for me at the end of the long corridor, praising me, 'such a good boy, they’re all out to get him, It’s a setup she was saying'... This of course does nothing to help me and in fact only serves to further embarrass me.
The next morning the police are pulling me through the corridor and into the courthouse, I’ve no lawyer, evidently no one would deign to defend me. But the show must go on, so I start into my defense...
But before I can get really going it’s suddenly somehow clear to me that it is not assault that I’m on trial for rather it is for the desire to have sex itself. So the whole show turns into this scopes monkey trial with me defending sex... Which is very strange as in real time I more often than not take the opposite point of view... But, like I said, the show must go on, and I don’t hold back, I’m pleading my case, I’m jumping up on the table, pointing at the jury dancing for the judge, and screaming all the cliches, "it’s only natural," "Look, what do all of you desire to do in the dark night, and some of you every other second," I yell at the gallery... "You can’t tell me I’m wrong, you just can’t," I’m still screaming... Oooh’s and Ahh’s follow, some laughs and I get some applause. It is at this point that the mood of the whole room starts to turn in my favour. And, then, Angela, losing her popularity, screams from the witness stand, "it was just sex, and sex anyway, it really wasn’t that bad, I suppose."
I was surprised she switched stripes so easy, but hey it got me outta there, and in seconds flat.
So, I guess I was vindicated, eh. I guess, but I don't find it a lot of fun spending my time trying to escape from something I shouldn't have to know anyway.
posted by j/r at 1:56 a.m.
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