lust is the primal decay

It’s all going to come out in the wash... that’s the most bogus consolation. Things never come around, and they especailly never come around the way we think we might like them to. It doesn't matter what I or anybody else does in this place, you can be kind or cruel but you will always only get whatever it is that you get (deserve is bogus too, so is individuality for that matter, I mean, really).

All I can ever aspire to to do in these regards is what the Buddhists say: right actions are performed with no attachment to the fruits of those actions. Instant karma is an illusion. That’s all you can do, well, all you can do if you don’t want to deceive yourself. Some of the most vile people live the most comfortable lives and the kindest the most wretched - but this is no secret.

And for me to think that after having a handful of my guts recently torn out and thrown on the fire, snapping and sizzling, that I’d think she’d have ill times coming to her, and me decent ones. Self-righteousness is the primal disillusionment and lust is the primal decay. And, this blog is a fraud.