the moth seminar reprieve

I find legal history very boring, unfortunately this confession will effect little change in the the moth class. While this has made recent mornings more painful than they typically are, I will say that they have been punctuated of late with rare moments of interest.

... There's a girl in the class who can talk about legal history in a way that somehow tricks me into thinking it's interesting. She has a way of reading where she pulls out seemingly innocuous details or characters from a book and gives them life. She plucks them out, holds them up, spins them around, plays with them, it's captivating, she's like a magcian. She can make me care.

I cannot do this, for me, all of this stuff reads cold, heavy and monolithic. I essentialize these books and ignore all the subtleties, because for me it is painful not to do so. I cannot trick myself.

Anyway, the unique thing about her is that it's all very sincere and genuine, it's actually quite fascinating. She is not posturing, a tactic that I am all too familiar with. There's nothing forced or contrived here - it's not because the teacher says it's interesting.

Needless to say, this embarasses me, how can the very thing that I find so painful and onerous be the source of so much interest and life for somebody else?

I'm a codger and should not be in that class though nor should the majority who tend to overinflate a reality that, to me, seems present only in their own heads. This class should be filled with more people like her, it'd be a better experience for everyone.